Reflections

[Name], do you take [Name] to be your wedded [husband/wife] to live together in marriage. Do you promise to love, comfort, honor and keep [him/her] For better orworse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. And forsaking all others, be faithful only to [him/her] so long as you both shall live...

I'm going to totally switch gears just for today and tomorrow I'll be back on topic with Nathan's cancer.

Sam and I spent a great deal talking over the last week, leading up to our anniversary today. For some reason we've been interested in looking at what wedding vows say. When we first went on our date in 1995, we never guessed we'd be married 7 years later. We were 15 and 16 at the time and went on one date (December 9, 1995) but broke up soon after (lol there's still disputes over who initiated that breakup), only to reunite 4 years later and get married 3 years after that. When we look at those old high school pictures one thing we always say is "who would've thought?" Who would've thought that young man would one day become my husband? I looked at those pics so many times over the years, when I was 16, 17, 18, 19 and didn't know I was looking at the man God had chosen for me.

Now we look at them saying not only who would've thought we'd get married but who would've thought we'd be parents of a child with cancer. I was recently talking to a close family member who just started dating and hasn't reached the engagement or marriage stage yet and I told him really look at the person you're going to be spending life with, because you have no clue what that life is going to bring you. A friend of Sam's from the Philippines asked him why do so many American marriages fall apart. Last I knew our divorce rate was 50% for first time marriages, thankfully Sam and I didn't have an answer for him but he was really curious as to why we as Americans don't take vows seriously. My only answer I guess is when we say those vows we really don't know what they mean at the time of us saying them. And that's what Sam and I have been on this past week.

When we said "Sickness and in Health" we meant each other, and we still mean that because we have no clue what the future holds, but we never at the time thought that could mean a child. When you tell people about a sick child some ask how Sam and I are doing, and that's a valid question because a situation like this can put a strain on everything. Truthfully we're doing fine but I've witnessed families that are not because it's so hard.

I thankfully grew up with many fine examples of marriage, both sets of grandparents were happily married, and so are my parents. I grew up not being able to relate to divorce, it was like a foreign language, sure it was all around me but not close enough to have an impact on me because all of my close examples had happy marriages, so I grew up with the belief of marriage is for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, for sickness and in health, in fat or skinny (lol I had to add that), till DEATH do us part. I'm not going to get into the abuse aspect and when you should leave etc, etc, that's not what this is particular post is about.

I'm really happy to celebrate 8 years with Sam today and I pray for many many more with him. I guess I wanted to shift gears and write this post about marriage today, not to sound conceited or anything but I think marriage should be lifted up as much as possible. I see so many shows about how and why men and women can't get along, and how do you find a good man or woman and I never see anything positive about marriage. I know marriage is hard and we all can give examples of friends and family members who are married and not making it. Sadly when I talk to some people about marriages they always see the negative and not the positive. It's very hard to make anything worthwhile in life work, if you want to be a entreprenuer then it's going to take HARD work, if you want to be the BEST in your field it's going to take HARD work, if you want your children to succeed in life it's going to take HARD work. If you want a marriage that's going to stand the test of time it's going to take HARD work.

So if you're engaged, read over the marriage vows with your soon to be husband or wife, I'm kind of against changing the traditional vows because in my opinion they're the most realistic, in marriage you're going to encounter some, if not all of what the vows speak to at some point or another. If you're married take the time to read over the marriage vows again and recommit yourselves to your spouse.

Dear Lord,

I just thank you today for Sam and for 8 years with him, and although this storm we're in really stinks I'm just so grateful you chose him to be the one to go through this with. I pray that you continue to strenghthen our marriage. I pray that we can both resist temptation in whatever form it may come. Even though the road is rough right now I pray that we continue to remember to look to you first, each other second, children third. I thank you for the children you've blessed us with, I wouldn't trade Nathan or Peyton for anything, thank you so much for them and I pray that our marriage will continue to stand the test of time, that one day we'll be in the paper celebrating 50 years :-)

In Jesus Name

Amern