Quick Update

This is going to be extremely messy cause I'm typing quickly.

Nathan has to get a PET Scan on the 16th. We found out that although a portion of the tumor hasn't shrunk some of the cells have died. This PET Scan will determine how much of the tumor is dead.

Still no surgeon will touch it and the doctors said that the tumor will probably never shrink completely (we thought it would). But rather it stands a better chance of dying. If the cells all die then that's good, the tumor will then be like a huge scar but it won't be active cancer anymore. So hearing that there are dead cells in the big part is good news.

Right now Nathan's dealing with so many side effects. He doesn't produce tears anymore in his left eye and probably never will again and he still has a lot of swelling in his face. His new thing is nightmares, he has them every night, so none of us have been getting much sleep which is why I'm so behind on the posting. He goes through phases where he handles his treatments well and times when he gets fed up and lately he's been fed up and I really don't blame him. He panics every time he sees a needle now, when he used to take it with stride. For those of you that don't know, most of the time he gets a needle put into his metaport he doesn't flinch because it's numb but he goes crazy just seeing needles now a days.

As for the rest of us, we're still just taking everything one day at a time. These last two weeks have been pretty low for me, I just want Nathan healed so bad and having to keep him so isolated and stay so isolated as a family really gets you down after awhile, especially for our family because in the past we were always on the go. A high point was last week when we got to go to the zoo, they had a special night just for children with chronic illnesses and their families. I'm trying to stay positive but I have so many people that ask "can I bring so and so over to play?" And I have to say no. It's very rare that Nathan is allowed to be around people such as on memorial day and we literally jump at those chances when they arrive but they're very far and few in between and even when we have them Sam and I always have to look out for infection because we know just how serious a little infection can be and every time he's exposed there's a risk. Those days are so special but bittersweet because we're reminded of how much Nathan is missing and how much we're missing as a family.

Despite everything I wrote above, he's been pretty active - still playing a lot, especially with Peyton. I just wish I knew what his dreams were about. I'm praying hard over this upcoming test, I just want to hear that a TON of cells are now dead. I'm not sure when we'll get the results from the test but will let you all know in due time.

Peyton and Sam are doing great!

God Bless