I can't put into words what we're feeling right now. Nathan is officially coming off of treatment!!!!! His last day of chemo was yesterday and today he's home!!!! I'm so excited!
I can't gather the emotions I've felt. I've been in really good spirits. I sat down on Wed. night and just reflected on how this all began, in January Nathan was in a ton of pain and couldn't even move his left eye at all. Diagnosed with stage 3 cancer the doctors couldn't even tell us anything except the medicine they were going to try. They couldn't guarantee anything.
I've seen a lot this year and I have to thank God over and over. We don't have a declaration of remission yet and I'm not going to worry over the future. For now I'm just glad to be celebrating this present milestone.
It's been a long year, we said goodbye to the people on the floor today and had a mini celebration full of gifts and hugs. I almost got emotional when the resident walked in who sat with me the first week of Nathan's diagnosis, a ton of memories came back.
It's bittersweet. I've spent a ton of time on that floor and I genuinely love the staff and families like my own family. I've hung out in the hall at the desk many times at midnight and beyond talking to them and laughing when Nathan was asleep, I'll truly miss them. It was funny because as we hugged we knew as much as we all loved each other we never wanted to see each again at least not on that floor :-).
Dear Lord,
I thank you. As weird as it may sound to those who may not understand I thank you for what we went through this year. It drove us to our knees in ways I never thought were possible. I thank you for the hard times, I thank you for the good times. I thank you for the lessons learned.
The most important thing to me right now Lord is that we don't forget. I've been reading the Old Testament lately in Leviticus and Numbers about the grumbling and complaining of the Israelites. It seems so stupid to me. They saw all the plagues in Egypt, they literally saw a sea part right in front of their eyes yet they still grumbled and complained against you.
Lord I don't want to become them. I don't want to forget this ordeal. I saw you in action throughout this year. I've kept my sanity this year thanks only to you. You've been my strength and my comfort. You've changed my entire perspective and I don't want to go back to the way I was before. I want to continue learning and growing and I truly want this family to be used by you.
In the end let your will be done.
In Jesus Name
Amen
