Starting a New Journey!!!!!

First I just want to really thank everyone who followed this blog all last year.

If I didn't have this 'outlet' to write and vent and share my true feelings I seriously don't think I would've made it through this ordeal!

I'd stated in a previous post that I plan on ending this blog at the end of this cancer journey and I'm sticking to that. I really want to close this chapter of our lives. I'm not sure if we'll ever have to reopen this book again, I sure hope we don't but if we do I'm sure God will give us the strength and encouragement to face it.

Right now Nathan is in remission. He's laughing, he's active, he's playing and we're so thankful! (His hair is growing in even again too!!!)

I'll leave this blog out here in case someone else stumbles on it and wants to get in touch with me. Just leave a comment and it'll come directly to my email. If any parent faced with the same news ever stumbles on this and want to contact me, please do not hesitate, I would find it a joy to talk to you, to pray with you and to encourage you so please by all means send me a message.

Hearing your child has cancer is ROUGH, it's so hard, there's so many emotions you go through...just indescribable. But God says

⁹ ... “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

2 Corinthians 12:9

And it's important to note that Paul wrote that as he was dealing with a "thorn in his flesh." Paul begged God three times to take it away from him but instead God allowed him to go through it and assured him that His grace is sufficient.

Let me tell you from experience the word of God is true. It's the living word and I'll step out on a limb and say that it really is all you need to get by. God can do for you what others cannot do. As wonderful as the doctors are you will learn very quickly in a situation like this that they don't have all the answers.

But God does. Psalm 139:16 says, ..."all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

God is in control, please trust in Him. I do understand it's going to throw your faith for a loop, it's going to challenge everything you believed in. It's going to make you wonder how in the world can God be good and allow this to happen!!! I wrestled with all of this. At times I truly felt God wasn't real, I felt he wasn't there and I truly felt he didn't care. Life was just unfair.

In the end I'm thankful for this past year. If God hadn't put our family in this situation I wouldn't have asked some of those tough questions. I'd honestly gotten to a point in my faith where I almost gave up. I couldn't understand why this happened and I did want to walk away and say "God doesn't care."

But instead I began to seek Him and I came across two videos by Lee Strobel, The Case for Faith and The Case for Christ . I HIGHLY recommend watching these, whether you're a new believer or a "seasoned saint." You can stream them online if you have a netflix account or if you don't, leave me a comment and I'll buy them and mail them to you, I recommend them that much.

God has become more real to our family through our suffering than He ever was when things were normal. When I surrendered everything and I mean everything to Him is when He became the most real to me. And I began to depend on Him in ways I never had to before.

There was NO ONE who could guarantee that Nathan was going to make it another year let alone ever see remission and truthfully there still isn't ANYONE who can guarantee that he'll stay in remission.

It's a very tough place to be. We take so much pride in being able to solve our own issues that we tend to forget how much we really need God. And when put in a position where the only thing I could do was cry out for help is when I saw God's work the most. I understand where 'peace' and 'joy' and true 'help' comes from. I could only find it in God's word.

I thank God for Nathan. I thank God for entrusting him to our care. I don't know if he'll live to see his adult years or if God will decide to come for him sooner but for just allowing him to be a part of our family I'm so grateful.

I thank God for His comfort. I thank Him for His grace. I thank Him for allowing us to be able to witness Him in action.

May God's peace be with all of you. I love you, and I thank God for you.

God Bless